A Question Of Age

Dear World And Everyone In It,

Over the past couple of years I have become increasingly more aware of aging. Mostly because I'm nearing thirty. But there's something I really feel the need to discuss. I wonder, why are we all convinced that forty or even thirty is over the hill? Does society have us that warped? I can't tell the number or people that I know that are having meltdowns over being in their thirties and forties. They're spending so much time worrying about being an old man or woman that they miss out on the prime of their lives.

I have a friend who told me that he had a mental breakdown on his 30th birthday. That's the case for pretty much anyone who turns thirty it seems like. I think society has us fooled. I think we were made to believe that once we're thirty or forty, all of our best years are behind us and it's time to think about settling. That logic seems absurd when you're thirty compared to someone who is seventy or eighty. I'm not going to lie, I used to subscribe to that fear of aging and feeling old because I'm almost thirty. Most of that has to do with that fact that people joke around with me and tell me that I'm old. It's an entirely different thing for the gay community. Turning 3o means, you might as well be dead. I've learned that from a lot of my gay friends. I have a writer friend who constantly talks about his age and how he's getting old. He's 36, a baby compared to a seventy or even a fifty year old. In his status updates on Facebook, he refers to it as a looming death sentence. Not literal death, mind you, but death of a social life, death of attraction, death of companionship. One of the statements he made was, "this is the beginning of the end. knitting and recipe collecting is on the horizon." I thought that maybe that was a tad too dramatic for someone whose 36 years old but it's not his fault because, like us all, he has been conditioned. Conditioned to believe that life starts to slow down at 30 or that you're considered old. Old is 70, 80, and 90 years old. The time we spend complaining the years go by even faster.

Is it right for us to believe such a thing? Are our twenties the only years that matter? The only years that count? Is everything after that just filler? It's so incredibly limiting to me and it should be to the human race, but that is not the case. It's almost like a disease, it's everywhere and it causes people to be depressed. Depressed because they feel like they should've done more with their lives and now they can't do anything because they're almost 50 and they're too old. It's never too late. My mom, god bless her, she's 48 years old and she really feels that she wants to start singing again, which is something she did when she was in her twenties. She gave it up to raise two kids. Now that we're grown, she wants to return to her first love, singing. She expressed to me that she thinks that she's too old to return to it and who would pay attention to a 48 year old. I told her that Sade, the singer is 48 and she just came out with a new single. It is possible. Anything is possible. I can't tell you how many older people come to me with this very concern. It's like all confidence is lost after you turn thirty. We constantly think of our competition which is also a problem.

I also wonder does this issue limit us a a human race? Do we just give up and go through the motions of life at a certain point? Why is age such an issue?